One of the most important things a single person can do augment their datability is make themselves available. It sounds simple right? If you want to date, you have to be available and make time for dating… It is surprising to note that many singles develop bad dating habits by making themselves less available than they otherwise should be, and therefore date less than they could.
There are plenty of reasons why singles make themselves less available. I have seen many and participated in many in my adventures as an LDS single. Keep in mind throughout this article that I am not discussing reasons that people won’t date another person, but rather reasons that people won’t actively put themselves in a position to find others to date or to be found by others.
Some of the easiest excuses to come up with include poor work schedules or the need to fulfill school requirements. Reasons such as these are generally the product of poor planning. Other less enterprising excuses tend to revolve around watching TV or hanging out with friends.
Many reasons people use for not making themselves available stem from social fears or anxieties. This particular problem is easily overcome by going to activities in groups or to activites where you will already know someone. Going with other people you know well generally makes the evening a little more fun and potentially safer.
Yet the most detrimental and oft offending one I have found is the simple reason of “I don’t really feel like it.” This particular reason is usually at the center of many other excuses and a guise for timidity, a feeling of hopelessness or frustration over several failed attempts.
In reality it takes a bit of determination to keep yourself active on the singles market until you find someone special. In my personal dating experiences I suffered from many of these excuses, many fruitless attempts at making myself available and many dead-end dates; However, in recognizing the excuses I was making and the added negative effect they were having on my social life I was able to make concentrated efforts to improve my dating availability. This one aspect of my social life, personal availability, was completely in my control.
These are some of the things I did in order to increase my chances of meeting people.
- Arrive early at activities to help setup and linger around at the end to socialize or help clean up.
- Force myself to go be social, even if I did not feel like it.
- Call up others who might be unavailable - this can either be a mini-date or a way to find an activity where two unavailable friends can get out and meet others.
- Turn off the TV
- Get off the computer
I still had several weekends alone at home, but by making myself available I also met many new people and had many rewarding experiences I would not otherwise have had.
Tags: Dating
